If he wants you make him put a ring on it

I’m not here to judge anyone’s relationship. On a personal note I am single. I’m single by choice but single none the less. It was a choice made because I wasn’t happy with my suitors and maybe the suitors weren’t happy with me!?  With my experience’s of successful and unsuccessful dating, engagements and heartbreak I’ve realized that there are a few things I refuse to go for when perusing a relationship. Why should I choose a life partner or even a someone that I will be exchanging my energy with, who refuses to make me one of his top life priorities?  Here are my top 3 dating no no’s. It is my belief that no one especially a woman expecting forever should accept in her pursuit of a relationship. 

1. When he claims to be a private person, so when it comes to social media he won’t post pictures of you, yet will post his buddies, business associates, kids and close family members. (Ladies!!! We have all fell for this one, don’t front). Truth is if you are his world not only will he like and comment on your posts but he would post your picture on his social media profile. If he’s not active then this isn’t your warning but for those men that at least post on a weekly basis this one is about your boo. If he won’t post or acknowledge you he’s either trying to hide you in hopes of keeping his options open(easier to deny, or downplay your relationship), he’s insecure(hoping other men or guy friends don’t find you appealing and or steal you away), or he’s crazy and paranoid. Either way you’ve got a big problem and your love is not his priority.

2. He will not say he wants to be together. So this is very common. You’re chillen together 24/7. Your just clicking and having a good time. Non stop texts, calls and social media trails yet he never says the words. One would assume with all the attention he’s giving that you are an item. However when you ask him, he won’t say the words. You stay and become bitter and insecure start checking his phone and see that he’s texting and entertaining other chicks. Yeah these same guys will sometimes even go as far to ask or tell you not to date other men but if he doesn’t say the words that he wants to be exclusive than its best to assume you’re only an option. 

3. You’re together for 5 years. Living together, have children, bank accounts and a business but no ring. So we all have our different views and expectations when it comes to marriage but I bet you’re acting like a wife right!? Yet without the rings and papers you have no wife privallages and that man could wake up and choose another and unfortunately you’ve ensured that his walk away will be one step easier. I’m no advocate for man trapping however I hate seeing women settle and sacrifice their morals because of love. All in hopes things will change in your favor. They won’t! I know you’ve heard the urban legends of the woman that finally won but you ain’t her and who is her anyways? If he won’t commit you should aquit.

Honestly I want to see women win. I believe that there is so much love out there waiting but we have made it mad easy and anything worth while is worth fighting for. Fight for yourself! I love you and I’m routing for us all to win! 


Love is a gamble

Sometimes you have to step outside of your circle and gamble on people you don’t know. People that are making moves in the direction of the success you hope to achieve. How can you successfully raise a child around people who didn’t successfully raise you? How can you have a successful marriage around single people, or cheaters? How can you make a successful career around two bit hustlers? How can you be open and love around people who continuously hurt and disappoint you? Love is a gamble but gambling on people isn’t like the lotto. With the lottery if you keep on playing the same numbers your odds are great unfortunately people don’t work like that. People will continue to disappoint you and when you stay you enable them. Love is a gamble. Make sure when you play, play for keeps!   

Remember why you’re hereĀ 

We are here to learn, give and bottom line to love. Love isn’t alway the mush gushy. Love is how things or people feel when you leave. When you leave someone and they feel secure and valued you have loved them correctly. When you leave a project  fail or success you have poured your whole heart into it. Learning and growth is love. Giving and offering yourself or your knowledge is love. I’m not always a good student or a quick learner but I’ll try until I get it right. My hope is that I encounter others who have this same desire and understanding. Be safe my friends and peace blessing on your journeys.